I’ve been staring at the blank space of my notes app for the past hour trying to think of a way to introduce today’s blog post and I’m lost.
But, how are you guys? How was your week? I truly hope you all are fine cause from my end, all I want to say is; This adulting thing is not easy.
Currently Listening to: Questionnaire by Oxlade
‘Most times I wonder if it’s even worth it in the end’ she sighed
‘If what’s worth it?’ He replied turning to look at the girl beside him with her scattered hair looking at the setting sun cast its amber glow across the beach its temporary inhabitants.
‘Love and all that it comes with’
‘I gave him everything, my love, my time, my money, my body, everything, I could give, I gave’
Taking a stone, she threw it as far as she could and it landed in the wet sand where the tides frequently played and all things got washed up.
The shoreline and its washed-up inhabitants weren’t much different from Toni’s conundrum. What she felt when she saw him melt in the arms of another was just that, washed up. she shrugged and sighed at the thought.
‘Yea, you gave him all those things, but did you give him the 2 things he probably wanted the most?’ He replied
‘What?’ She asked a little more aggressively, obviously annoyed by the balls on her brother for questioning her efforts.
‘Peace of mind and Understanding’
With a sad smile she turned back to look at the view in front of her, the glowing sun, a crisp circle in the bloody sky, illuminated a quivering path across the water, dipping below the horizon, as the fleeting colors of dark began to fade away. She knew it would always come to that, the great demands, peace, patience, understanding, always demanding, yet never really seeing the side of the one its demanded of, never really wanting to know her plight, never wanting to walk in these shoes that seem to have become too painful to carry on in.
If only he knew what she desperately wanted… if only…
‘I probably didn’t’ she said without taking her eyes off the immense scenery, so that the fire in the sky was reflected in her deep brown iris’s.
‘You see….’ he started, raising her index finger she cut him short eagerly, getting the affirmation she solely needed, the blood red sky only fed into grievance as she sought out the courage and words to make known her reasons… no… there wouldn’t be need for much talk… she headed straight for the gun..
‘Only because he didn’t give me the one thing, I needed the most’
What’s was that??